Hi people of the internet! Guess what? I’m home! From my epic adventure around the world!!! (Obviously the photos in this post are from different legs of the trip, just for fun…)

Well actually I use the term “home” loosely–since arriving in the States I’ve spent a couple days at Tom’s family’s house, a few days at my family’s house, and now I’m living at my grandma’s apartment until Tom and I find an apartment of our own.

Anyway, what I really should be talking about is my trip… Suffice it to say that is was life-changing, amazing, and all the rest. Okay, I know that doesn’t really suffice, and I promise that I will write not just one or two posts, but a series of posts of just stories from the summer. There are lots of funny ones, don’t worry.

For now, though, I’m tired. I’ve started work–kind of. In other words I had orientation for the program in which I’m participating this year, and I’ve been going to the PD sessions of the school at which I’m going to be working.

Oh yeah, I have a job! Did I even mention that when I got it? For the next ten months, I’m going to be a part of this program, which means I will be serving at a non-profit organization four days a week, and learning things about non-profits in general on Fridays with the other allies. And doing other public service-y things.

It will be a lot of work, but I’m extreeeemely excited, especially after orientation. The “syllabus” for our Friday trainings looks especially awesome… We have sessions like “History of NYC Non-profits” and “Financial Literacy” and other important, interesting things.

Otherwise I’m doing the following things:

1. (Shockingly) thinking about grad school applications
2. Studying for the LAST so I can get my TA certification
3. Studying for the GRE, at least in theory
4. Trying to find time to play all the video games I want to play

Oh, and I forgot: I’m sorry that I sucked at updating my photos this summer. Taking photos on my iPhone really wasn’t a sustainable plan, though… Tom & I ended up taking over 4,000 total, so I really needed those heavy duty SD cards.

Alright, I’m seriously going to go play some FF9. More on my summer and non-summer soon. Thanks for bearing with me this summer!

Welcome to my photostream post, which will update as I take and upload photos to my Flickr over the course of my round-the-world trip this summer.

Here’s my rough itinerary:

1. Spain

   June 17

2. South Africa

   June 18 – June 30

3. Vietnam

   July 1 – July 7

4. Hong Kong

   July 7 – July 14

5. China

   July 14 – July 28

6. Japan

   July 28 – August 14

And then home!

So that is what you can expect in the way of photos. When I return, I promise lots of text-based stories.

Yes, I will be away from my blog all summer, but the post after/above this one will have my Flickr photostream in it, so as I take pictures and upload them, you will get to see where I am and what I’m doing all summer! If you’re interested, of course.

Otherwise, have a wonderful summer, everyone! I look forward to filling you all in on my adventures when I return in August.

Much love!

The first thing I’m going to miss, obviously, is playing video games. And I’m going to be without regular internet access during E3, and I’m going to be sad that I can’t get frequent updates as to what’s going on.

But the bigger thing that I’m going to miss is the third season of True Blood. See preview below:

DROOL. I love Sookie/Eric. The only good thing about being away during the season’s airing is that when I get back, I’ll be able to binge-watch the whole season.

Oh, also, HBO’s promo posters for the season are wonderful. Just sayin’.

It was a really interesting interview, to those of us who care about the direction the video game industry is going, and I was especially struck by this quote (my emphasis):

My goal is for Heavy Rain to leave an imprint in you and change a little bit of who you are and how you see things. Maybe the key characters and key moments will leave a trace in you. If you don’t have this ambition as a video-game creator, then maybe you should do something else, because this is what creation and art is about. If you don’t do art with interactivity, then you better make toys.

And also this one, continuing on the same theme:

I think the [video game] industry is at a turning point where it should decide if we want to be toys for kids forever, or to allow some creators to express something deeper than just smashing zombies or killing monsters. … I see Heavy Rain as year one of this new era where games should be more than toys.

“Yes,” I thought, for I am a longtime fan of serious, mature games, “I totally agree!” And then I put the magazine down to play some Bejeweled on my iPhone.

A few minutes later, I became aware of the irony of the situation. Bejeweled, as you probably know, is the epitome of what many call the “casual game.” Of course, as someone recently said or wrote (I forget who ), any game becomes hardcore if you play it enough, but I think it’s safe to say that Bejeweled fits into the category of toy games that David Cage mentioned in the interview.

So as I mindlessly matched colored gems, I got to thinking: As I understand it, there are two major problems with David Cage’s statements as quoted above.

1. Heavy Rain is SO not the first game (or “year one”) of games being “more than toys.”

I’ve been playing video games seriously for ten years or so, which isn’t that long in the grand scheme of things. But I’ve made it a priority to play as wide a range of games as possible in order to learn as much as I can about the industry and its history. My favorite games range from the frivolous–Guitar Hero II–to the somber–Suikoden, parts of the Metal Gear Solid games, Final Fantasy VIII, Hotel Dusk–to the over-the-top absurd–Katamari Damacy, other parts of the Metal Gear Solid games, Typing of the Dead.

I’ve played text adventures that scrutinize the meaning of life–Galatea–and games where the story is barely relevant, if at all–Puzzle Quest, all Mario games; games that mix the light-hearted with the heartrending–Super Metroid, the Chrono games–and games that defy categorization–EarthBound. Need I continue?

Pretty much the only thing all the video games above have in common is that they came out before Heavy Rain.

Video games have been pushing the envelope for years–be it in terms of storytelling, visuals, or the ever-dubious “gameplay.” Forget the question of whether or not video games are art; ever since the birth of the medium, video games have been adapting to incorporate an ever-expanding variety of, well, games.

And yes, many of these fit easily into the category of “toy,” and even, in Cage’s words, “toys for kids.” But, regardless of what some mainstream media outlets, obnoxious politicians, and other generally not-in-the-know people would have you believe, the majority of gamers are adults, and the majority of games are aimed at adults.

When prominent game designers like Cage imply that video games are mostly created for kids, he just hurts the image of video games that non-gamers have, and puts himself squarely in the camp with everyone who doesn’t understand the nuances of the game industry.

The result of this? I’m sorry David Cage, and I do like Heavy Rain a great deal, but you’re not the first one to think of making games that are “more than toys.” Or, more importantly, the first one to do it.

2. There is no reason why, if game developers want to make them and gamers want to play them, there shouldn’t be “toy” games as well as “serious” games.

This is actually my bigger problem with the Cage interview that is clearly really getting on my nerves.

As I said above, I do like Heavy Rain. I like it a lot, actually–I enjoy the moral tension of my decisions in the game, and the feeling that my actions really do affect the lives of the characters. I’m a big fan of the mature storyline, though, to be fair, the controls can be a little crazy-making and very much like a several-hour-long QTE.

But just because I like Heavy Rain’s serious, gritty approach to in-game storytelling, it doesn’t mean that I like it more than the way that other games do it. The two are simply different. Should the Katamari series start allowing the player to decide to cut off one of the Prince’s fingers or shoot the King of All Cosmos? Um… obviously, no. And should game designers stop designing games that aren’t going to give their players options like that? Again, obviously, no.

I’m not saying that David Cage is calling for an end to fun (purely fun, that is) games–even though his quote could totally be interpreted that way, I’m going to choose to give him the benefit of the doubt here and assume that isn’t what he meant.

But come on! There’s nothing wrong with games that don’t take themselves all that seriously. It’s far more important for game designers to do a great job at what they want to do than to try–and possibly, even likely, fail–to make every single game about serious moral choices and societal problems.

It’s great that David Cage and the others who worked on Heavy Rain are making strides in their niche of the video game medium, and even better that they’re so passionate about it. But just because they believe strongly in what they’re doing, that doesn’t mean they should rain scorn on the game designers who are moving in a different, albeit just as valuable, direction–and, by proxy, the gamers who play those games.

And then today, I woke up and realized that it is only two weeks until Tom and I leave for our epic trip.

**

At this point, we’ve done most of the logistical bullshit necessary to go on a 2-month-long trip: We’ve applied for visas to China and Vietnam, we’ve booked hostels in most places (at least for a few days in places where we want to travel all around), and I’ve been combing guidebooks while Tom is at work.

**

I’m so excited!

Oh, and a few days ago, I found out that I’ve been selected as a New York Public Ally for 2010-11! Okay, so my match, as they call it, is still tentative at this point, but the only reason I wouldn’t end up employed would be if the government decided not to give the organization enough spots, which is fairly unlikely, according to the program coordinator.

But anyway, yes, the Public Allies program is an organization run by Americorps (so it’s government funded) that places young people in leadership positions at not-for-profits. And it’s paid, and 10 months long, and has a very high rate of people staying in not-for-profit careers afterward. So basically: Perfect. And after a really long process of interviews and more interviews, I was matched with an organization, a tiny arts-and-music-based charter school.

I’m so excited!

**

So earlier today, I realized something: This is the first time in forever that I have been really looking forward to something–and not just one thing, two things! I’m not saying that I dread every day or that I have nothing to live for on a regular basis; that’s obviously not the case. I’m actually a very happy person these days.

But usually, the things I’m looking forward to (that is: not including playing a new video game, or reading a book, or other small things) have more to do with not doing something than with doing something. For example, the last thing I was excited about was graduating. But I was mostly excited about being finished with school. And like–you know, winter breaks and spring breaks and coming home from various jobs and internships.

Now, though, I’m actually looking forward to DOING things. And it’s a great feeling!

** Next time you see photos of these places, I will have taken them myself! For now, though, the photos are all from Wikimedia Commons.

OH WAIT EXCEPT FOR THE PART ABOUT ME GRADUATING FROM COLLEGE!!!

Ahem.

So yeah, in the past month or so, I’ve been beyond busy doing some of the following things:

1. Finishing up my last classes ever
2. Taking my last exams ever
3. Writing my last papers ever
4. Playing my last v– Just kidding. I’ll never stop playing video games.
5. Writing my last Spec article ever, also known as my senior column
6. Moving out of my dorm for the last time ever

And then, finally, after 4 years (22 years?) of waiting, I actually graduated! I passed all my classes, walked the stage, donned the cap and gown (below), and it was/is official!!!

The pic is of me and one of my best friends, Amanda, at Commencement. It was pouring rain–hence the raincoat you can see peaking out from under my “gown.” And the apple cores? Well one of the cool and/or annoying things about Columbia (depending on how you look at it) is the school’s trademark gigantic Core Curriculum. So you know. Symbolically holding actual cores. It used to be a tradition, but then people started throwing non-eaten apples at the ceremony and hurting people. Oops.

So now I’m back at home–actually I’m kind of homeless at the moment, because Tom and I haven’t found a place to live in the fall yet, but for the moment I’m living at my family home until Tom and I leave the country in June. To go on our epically awesome vacation to (in case you’ve forgotten!) South Africa, Vietnam (switched from Thailand), Hong Kong, China, and Japan. So excited.

All I have to do now is play a ridiculous number of video games (more on that soon, obviously) and get our visas together. The latter of which is actually stressing me out a great deal more than I expected. Poop.

But yeah. In case you can’t tell, I’m so so thrilled to be free and finished with school. Now if only I had a job…

There was a reason for this that is less pretentious and more earnest: I’ve always had extremely vivid, memorable dreams for my entire life, and at the time when I found Surrealism–specifically the work of André Breton (my domain is actually named after a book by him, incidentally…)–I was pretty much living half in real life and half in my dreams for various reasons. Imagine my pleasant surprise when I discovered a group of people (or at least one person) who believed that dreams were just as significant and waking life!

So this morning I happen to be at home in Philadelphia, and I was looking through some of my old stuff, and I found this old notebook that I used to carry around when I was sixteen and write in whenever inspiration struck. I had totally forgotten about this until now, but I now remember it well. And it is RIDICULOUSLY PRETENTIOUS. For the most part. The context: I was taking art classes over the summer while working at a cheese shop.

Here are some pictures of the notebook:

Here are some of the best, most delightfully pretentious excerpts:

The discovery is that (well, a number of things but first and foremost that) I cannot bring myself to be an artist. These people are not really people and they stand for what? I am a person and I mostly stand for love. To the extent that I stand for dreams + Surrealism (in its truest sense) it is to the extent that I stand for love. To the extent that I love, I love love. To the extent that I am in love, I am in love with love. To the extent that I live and/or breathe, I live and/or breathe love. To the extent that I ______, I ______ love. Artists love themselves and their pencils.

Art class is full of rules. It’s a throwback to the 1800s, but gleaning the most convenient bits from modernism. You’d think by now someone would have realized that “composition” as is dictated by books like Learn to Draw and so on is no significant. “GOOD”=accurate. Is it so strange that I bore myself to death as a draftsman? It is with a disbelieving and disgusted eye (shocked; appalled) that I view myself in this position. I am an “art student.” Undesirable term, that.

But all signs point to psychic life existing outside of time and space.

 
So basically I was a pretentious asshole when I was sixteen. No surprises there–isn’t everyone kind of a pretentious asshole in their teens? The funny thing is that I also found a history study guide from the same period that I made with a friend. It has a slightly different angle on life…

• •RADICAL REPUBLICANS
• •Critics of slavery (HARDCORE)
• •S&M and titty bars

 
Ooooooh high school. Sometimes I miss it. More posts to come! Sorry I’ve been so sporadic…

My post title refers to the work I’ve been doing in digital art and animation and stuff. In recent months I’ve been trying to get involved with video game design–specifically the art thereof–and I’m discovering that part of that is gaining more experience in the actual tech behind it all. Though I’ve played a gazillion video games in my life and worked with and in the arts for foreverrrr, my technical knowledge at this point is pretty much limited to HTML, CSS, and a very small amount of PHP. No programming languages whatsoever, which means I don’t understand how games are made!

That is… until today.

Okay that’s a little over-dramatic. I still don’t actually know how to make a game, but I finally (after wanting to learn since I was 14 years old) taught myself Flash! I’ve also been using my new Wacom drawing tablet to make some digital art that I’ve been really satisfied with. So here’s the part where I show you my stuff…

First of all, and this is my favorite: Freckles on the Move, my first ever Flash video!! (Or rather.. my first ever completed Flash video.) It’s not perfect, but I’m proud of my progress. Oh, and all the art is totally mine.

And here’s some non-moving art. The first one is called “Freckles at Rest,” and it’s obviously the picture I made of my fishy before I decided to turn it into an animation. The second one is called “Breaking the Glass Ceiling” and is an illustration for an article about women in business and politics for the Columbia Political Review. Both were done entirely digitally. (click for bigger as per usual!)

So yeah. I know it’s not a huge deal in the grand scheme of things, but I feel very accomplished today.

And a story/musing…

The other day, I got a haircut (so so short ! love it!) and I was talking to my hairdresser as one does when one is getting one’s hair did. My hairdresser, whom I really like and who does a kickass job with my hair, appears to be a totally typical hairdresser. She’s very pretty, very well put together, well dressed, girly, etc. I know I’m oversimplifying a stereotype right now, but please don’t be offended, I’m getting to my point…

At some point during our conversation, she asked me what I’d been doing with my last semester. I said I’d been volunteering, reading a lot, and playing a lot of video games. And she said, “Oh, what kind of video games?”

So I was expecting that she, like pretty much every other girl I’ve ever met, was going to be like “OMG YEAH I LOVE VIDEO GAMES I PLAYED MARIO ONE TIME!” so I broached the subject very carefully so as not to overwhelm her with my gamer jargon. But then it turned out that she’s super into games! Like actually knows her shit–asked me if I had played the new FF yet, said that she didn’t like how many cutscenes the series has, etc.

We ended up having one of the more engaging conversations I’ve had during a haircut, and I ended up learning a lesson. Stupid as it sounds, I know. I’m always complaining about people saying “Really?” and giving me a look when I say I’m into video games. (And my hairdresser told me that people always do that to her…) But here I was, doing the exact same thing!!! I know this sounds really contrived and ridiculous, but it actually happened.

Oh and a footnote: I know a lot of the people who read this (haha… meaning a high percentage not a high number!) are girls who play video games. So I know they exist in the world, besides me. But I haven’t really met that many in my life, maybe one or two, so I’m always pretty skeptical. Which, apparently, maybe I shouldn’t be?

Hm.

As you may have noticed, I’ve been playing a lot of video games lately. No, not a lot; a shit ton. (Again.) But the sun has also been out, so I’ve had to make the incredibly difficult decision: Inside with the video games, or outside with the sun. So far I’ve been compromising enough to get both a sunburn and 25 hours into Final Fantasy XIII. Which brings me to…

My semi-coherent thoughts on FFXIII

First off, as any FF fan will understand, I have been eagerly awaiting this game for four years. Approx. Which basically means for the duration of my college career. For some background, here’s what I think of every other (main series) FF game (after the jump, duh):

1. FF I

   Good game, if very basic. (Beaten.)

2. FF II

   Broken game that I secretly love. (Beaten.)

3. FF III

   Decent game, but so hard that I almost threw it out the window. (Fought final boss and lost, losing hours of progress. Therefore: unbeaten.)

4. FF IV

   Great game. Love this one. (Beaten.)

5. FF V

   For some reason this one never grabbed me. (Unbeaten.)

6. FF VI

   Controversially, I don’t LOVE this game. I like it a lot, but it’s been slow going for me. (Unbeaten. (In final dungeon))

7. FF VII

   Loved this when I first played it, but it doesn’t really hold up. (Beaten.)

8. FF VIII

   Fucking awesome. I even love the Junction system! (Beaten.)

9. FF IX

   My favorite FF game. Adore this one. <3 (Beaten.)

10. FF X

    Could never get through this. Really didn’t like the characters. (Unbeaten.)

11. FF XII

    36 hours of my life I will never get back. This is basically a walking simulation. (Unbeaten.)

Okay so that’s out of the way. Now here’s how I feel about FFXIII:

Everything that people have been saying (that it’s too linear; that it’s basically just running in a straight line then battling then watching a cutscene then repeating…) is true. HOWEVER I am still really enjoying myself.

First of all, for the first time in maybe ever, the story not only makes sense, but is actually interesting. Every time there is a plot twist, or something new is revealed about a character, I actually find myself caring. I won’t post any spoilers because the game hasn’t even been out for a month, but there is one point during the game where something happens (or almost happens, anyway) that left me so shaken that I almost couldn’t pick up the game again after I saved. That may not be strange for a game like Heavy Rain, but it’s a rare quality for a JRPG.

Second, the battle system is absolutely awesome. It has its flaws–for example, I don’t yet know how I feel about my characters (about 22 hours in) all of a sudden being able to use any ability–but overall, it’s probably the most engaging system I’ve encountered in an RPG. I’ve heard a lot of internet people saying that FFXIII has not quite done away with the “push X to win” battles of past FF games, because of the presence of the “auto-battle” button, but I strongly disagree. The battles in XIII are so difficult that actual thought is necessary. There have been way too many times that, having stopped paying attention to the battle for a few seconds, I’ve looked back at the screen to see “Game Over.”

To be fair, though, much of this difficulty could be artificially inflated by the fact that only the leader character has to die for a “Game Over.” But the Paradigm and Crystarium systems are so smooth and streamlined that this doesn’t strike me as a problem.

The graphics are gorgeous, and the characters actually somehow manage to stray pretty far from the Uncanny Valley, which might be due to the fact that they move seemingly naturally, and that their eyes actually move separately from the rests of their faces, just like ACTUAL PEOPLE.

Okay so that’s how I feel about most of FFXIII. But, having just reached Chapter 11, I may be changing my mind. Though I enjoyed Chapters 1-9, Chapter 10 was one of the dullest, most monotonous, overall worst stretches (2-3 hours) of gaming that I’ve ever experienced, in or out of the FF series. If it weren’t for the chapter system, which indicates to me that I’m close to the end, I probably would have put the game down. I’ve heard that the game gets way, way better in 11 on, so I’m optimistic, but I haven’t played for a couple days because I was so fatigued after the soul-sucking ordeal that was Chapter 10.

Oh yeah, and an important note on the characters: I love Lightning and Sazh, want to punch Snow in the frat-boy-resembling face, am tempted to break my TV every time Vanille comes within spitting distance of the screen, and feel generally neutral toward the others. Wait actually also: Dajh is adorable and Serah looks like an 8-year-old. Okay enough of that.

Phew. My next post will (probably) not be as FFXIII-centric, but I can’t make any promises that it won’t be just as video game-centric, because that’s kind of what I’m doing right now.

Anyway, I rarely ask specific questions of commenters, but for those of you (I know you’re out there!!!) who have been playing FFXIII, what have you thought so far? Anybody seriously disagree with my admittedly semi-articulate assessment?